• Bianca Jenee

Choosing Me

Hey girl, thanks so much for stopping by for today's self care Saturday topic "Choosing me." That's right; we are going to choose our happiness first and will do so unapologetically. I made this decision a year ago and haven't looked back. Sometimes the best choice for yourself can be the hardest to make. Here's an overview of my journey of choosing me.


So what made me choose me? The day I realized my marriage would no longer be. I could no longer fake smile, nor did I have the energy to come up with the excuses on why I should remain married. Yes, we shared a beautiful home, we both made decent money, and we are both hands-on parents with our daughter. But separate from that our marriage was a mess. Hints of who the person I married started to present themselves and depression was soon to follow. Is it selfish of me to want out? I mean I would have to start completely over, and I would have to uproot my daughter from the life in which she knows which is having mommy and daddy together. The answer is NO!


Girl, I found a lawyer, worked overtime and paid him in full! That was my first step in choosing me, and it felt awesome doing it. Don't get me wrong it was scary, and there were some nights where the tears wouldn't stop falling. I second-guessed a lot, but I knew that there had to be something better. A year ago this month I made my decision, and the happiness that came with it is indescribable.


So what steps do I take to ensure that I continue to choose me? I write my goals down and make them plain. I'm obsessed with vision boards. My goals are important, and I'm not embracing my full potential when my goals are not executed. I also evaluate my decisions based on how it will affect my happiness, whether it be career or relationships. I'll ask questions such as; am I sacrificing myself in any way with this decision? Is this decision going to change the way I love or want to be loved? Will this decision affect the way I parent? If the answer is yes then back to the drawing board I go. I don't want it. Return to sender!!


It's okay to be selfish when it comes to your happiness. Self-care is the best care. We all deserve to live, laugh, and love without it being mentally and physically draining. Just remember to start with self first, and the rest will follow.


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