If you are anything like me, dating prior to the pandemic was not going great and now it is almost non-existing. Even with heighten use of social media and multiple dating apps, it still feels that as a single, I may never find love and even if I do, he will need to be at least six feet away until further notice. But like all things, hope isn’t completely lostand it doesn’t have to be as dreadful as it feels! Regardless of where you are on the dating scale, there is someone out there for you, and our four step guide is here to help you find your quarantine bae! So grab a pen and paper to take notes as you follow our guide to dating during quarantine.
1. Practice Being Alone (First!)
I am sure we have all heard the saying, “if you cannot be by yourself, how can you expect someone else to be with you,” right? Well quarantine is a great time to get to you know you first and/or more! Before jumping in with both feet into the dating pool, spend some quality time with yourself to gain clarity and grow. You can do this by reading, fasting from social media, turning off your phone, and my personal favorite, meditating. These simple but effective activities can keep you from dating out of boredom, and stop you from wasting time and energy with people who don’t deserve it.
2. Be Intentional
Once you have decided that you want to date be intentional about doing so. This may seem like an easy task but you would be surprised how many of us are not being intentional about dating. With that said, start with being honest. The key word for all these dating apps is DATING! We all have fears about dating (especially as Millennials) and the last thing we need during this time are people being dishonest about what they are looking for or abusing those really seeking love by only seeking sex; take yourself to Tinder! So, before you swipe right, like a prompt, or slide into anyone’s DMs be sure to know your why! If you are already dating this is a great time to get vulnerable and honest with your partner, especially if you are not in the same household. Ask the questions you’ve been holding back and communicate your current feelings and expectations for the relationship.
3. Set Boundaries Early
Once you have decided this person may be worth some socially distant conversation, set your boundaries early. Yes we are quarantined and yes some of us are lonely but you are not alone! Do not find yourself in a “situationship” because you did not set boundaries for you and your quarantine boo. Rather you want to stay away from certain topics (i.e. sex), not talk after a certain time, or express your love for God, do not be nervous to be you; because if they do not handle your belief system now, there is a GREAT chance they won’t later.
Again, if you are dating, it is never too late to set expectation or reset them. When dating it is easy to get away from our boundaries, especially in the puppy dog phase. But, a little time a part can help you refocus and get back to what matters. Although most people don’t like change, if they really like you they will respect your boundaries and get on board!
4. Stay Hopeful
Dating was hard before and feels harder during quarantine but I find myself being more hopeful now because we are reconnecting in a way we haven’t done in decades. Back in the days of “courting” all our parents and grandparents could do was TALK and now, we are doing the same. So instead of focusing on what we can’t do, focus on what you can. With almost everything at our fingertips take this time to explore virtual dating by engaging in the following together:
1. Reading Daily Devotionals on the Bible App
2. Playing Games on your phone
3. Sharing recipes
4. FaceTime Dates
5. Good ol’fashion talking on the phone.
In addition, you can always google conversation starters and questions for first dates and new couples. Be sure to love yourself first and daily so even if you don’t find love in this hopeless place, you will be ready for it at the first Brunch out!